FEMINISTS AND DOMINATION = Real or Sport?

Today I visited the Hollywood Flea Market, my first time amazingly, and there were feminists shouting through a loud speaker about how we need to take down mysogynistic regimes, educate those about Imperialism and it's inherent sexism, and how women are constantly dominated even still in 2009. It was then that I realized....who on Earth could possibly dominate me? I said to my girl, "I wish somebody WOULD dominate me! Who will do that? Who will try? Who won't run away with their tales between their legs." She promptly responded, "you want to be dominated recreationally. Feminists are talking about men subjugating women mentally, physically with money and power." I figure we need to have a meeting of the minds. Women who get dominated, and women who want to be. How do you think and how do we think? I don't mean judge, I mean, really, what is it about you that turns men on? Is it that you just don't say ANYTHING? And then I thought, is that what it takes to be dominated or even married. And then I thought....fuck marriage.
Which is what I've been thinking a lot lately. Particularly since the men who actually "see" me as of late have been 11 years my junior or married.

And those married men. They are the most painful. I had someone tell me today that I would have restrictions in this relationship just as does. As if they were the same. Me traveling for a living. He having a 9 to 5, wife and many, many children. He explained to me that I will have trouble having a relationship with ANYONE until I figure out where I am going to locate and what I am going to do with my career. As if just having this career wasn't enough. He said that unless the man I am going to be with is on the road with me, it will be impossible to have a relationship. Why thank you Lord Man. I guess that would be domination and I guess my response would be why I ain't married.

I know people who have long distance relationships. They work for awhile and then people decide to move to either side of the country, whichever state, etc. The fact that he equated a long distance relationship to an affair bothered the dog shit out of me. What fucking nerve. And since I'm working on my "please-dominate-me" skills - one being, watch what you say, I kindly stated that those two were not equal. The question of relocating vs cheating were two totally different things. One is the drama you may look forward to while the other was a detriment to my soul. "Oh, I understand. I think it's a bit presumptuous for you to think I have some sort of expectation of you when this is pretty impossible." Really nigga? Duh. I guess it sounded better coming out of his mouth.

Fucking annoying.

I still wish somebody COULD dominate me. I would like them to at least try. I would like them to nevermind what I do for a living, someone who isn't married, I mean, and honestly assess relationship versus power play.

And they ALL do it. They do. It's in them. They can't help themselves. I asked my best friend to be a sperm donor for me and all of a sudden I had to move to another state. Maybe that was an attempt at domination and I shut it down? Hmmm.

Okay, my girl is right. I want recreational domination.

You know them black women.......

That black dudes say, yawl is loud and emasculating and ghetto and THATS why we date white women????

Well, they all work for Cash Money/Universal Group.

I have never met a group of more territorial (except maybe me circa 01) women in all of my life! Rifrickendiculous.

It's hilarious to me how people cannot adjust to change when change is absolutely fundamental for growth. Oh yeah, niggas don't like growth.

Start spreading the news....

Beautiful. 5 - 6 inches of fluffy white snow. Radiators that crank out heat at levels of "on" or "off". No in between. You enter from the freezing outdoors of 36 degrees to sweltering heat indoors. Crack a window that blows flurries of snowflakes in....overcast skies....and the inevitable sound of New York traffic.

I do love New York. Tis true.

Mostly because the Knickerbocker restaurant and all it's classic New Yorkness is right across the street. I can leave this fantastic apartment and walk across and have Sidecar and a steak (I gave up alcohol and hard liquor for Lent - a shame).

And I got to visit with my sister, the most beautiful girl in the world, at work at my favorite Tunisian restaurant - Cafe Noir.

I enjoyed my visit with my New York friends. I love them. The ambition and the spirit of ambition here really gets me hyped. Don't get me wrong, I LOOOOVE L.A. I'm probably the last true fan of it. But today, was a perfect Sunday. My best body allowed me to sleep at his house and I didn't even have to travel to Brooklyn. My best girl came over to pick me up. We all went to the country club we like to call the Knickerbocker across the street. I had a Sidecar...a Makers Mark Sidecar to be exact. Then 2 pitchers of Sangria. Then a taxi ride home and into the comfort of my buddy's warm home again. And now I'm watching Kanye West's Vh1 Storytellers.

My greatest shame in life is never to be able to see me perform on stage. So you will get a pleasure that I can never see in life.
---- Kanye West.


Damn I love that nigga. I really do. The more arrogant he is, the longer his shag gets, I love him that much more. Unstoppable. I ride for Kanye. I can't believe he's not a Leo. Vh1 Storytellers. That shit was great.

Tomorrow, the boys, The Roots, premiere with Jimmy Fallon on his show. I will be there to support. I love them. Please tune in. NBC. 12:30am.

White Men I Love

In no particular order:

Oh Paul Newman,
Jeff Goldblum - the finest in the world, actually
Sean Connery
George Clooney
Howie Long
Arnold Shwartzenegger
Brad Pitt
Marlon Brandon
Alec Baldwin
Owen Wilson
Matthew McConnaughey
James Franco
Josh Brolin AND his daddy James
Josh Duhamel
Hugh Jackman
Paul Walker
Ryan Phillipe
Robin Thicke
Kid Rock
Cary Grant
Jason Patric
Eric Dane
Patrick Dempsey
Pierce Brosnan
that one I used to date in high school when I was under age
the one I dated last year
Halley Berry's baby daddy
Lisa Bonet's new baby daddy
Johnny Fricken Dep
Salma Hayeks baby Daddy -- the one with the billion dollars
Most mothafuckas with a billion dollars
Bill Clinton
Adrian Brody
George W. -
John Kennedy Jr.
James Dean
Antonio Sabatino Jr.
Heath Ledger
Steve McQueen
Bob DeNiro
Ed Harris
Richard Gere

My future baby daddy

and then there's the one's that I don't necessarily think of as white:
Benicio del Toro
Javier Bardem
Ricardo Montalaban
Yule Brenner

to be continued......

Innocent Until Proven Guilty

I am so sick of people commenting on Chris Brown and Rihanna. No one knows anything. He turned himself in because he had to. But this absolute shit about there being no reason to hit a woman? That is some bullshit. Women wile out and put their fingers in men's face, push them, grab the steering wheel, kick and scream, talk about they dick size in public, etcetera etcetera. Men, too , are human. Don't put any extra expectations onto them that you wouldn't put on anyone else. It's awful to emasculate or push anyone to the point of no return, just to test them.

I am a victim of domestic abuse. I did not hit this man, or taunt him or do anything to him. He was just a big fat headed bully who had a naive, whimsical girl. So I am not unaware of the perils of domestic violence. I have, however, also been around a few black girls in my lifetime and we be wiling the fuck out. Really. Some men can walk away, some men are pushed. I just think that we need to let these children work this thing out and not in public. It's sad to try and judge Chris Brown with no facts. I think that TMZ photo is some bullshit. I think the statements are so vague that there is no way any one knows anything other than the people who were around them during the time. I also think we don't know what happened on Thursday or Friday that led to Saturday. We just don't know.

So the think of this boy and this girl as you would your niece or nephew or little brother or sister. I hope his career isn't over. I hope she and he can work it out. I hope that picture wasn't her and was some photoshopped bullshit. I hope that he is working with his pastor as he stated. I hope. I hope. Hope is much better than gossip.

Rainy Day Blues

I'm sick. My good friend brought me to the ER on a Sunday night. I swear Cedar Sinai is the new County. I waited for 3 hours for antibiotics. They did knock me out. But now I'm hallucinating and have insomnia. I can't help to think that part of that is because I'm crazy emotional. Maybe it's that time of the month, or maybe I work with an inconsiderate fuck who is spoiled and a total and complete douche. Yes, I am indeed premenstrual. Doesn't mean he still isn't a douche.
So i go to bed at 1040pm and I wake up at 1am. Then I stay up watching all of Season 1 Sex And The City , fell asleep, and then woke up in the dark thinking I saw a rat or mouse crawling under the television. Freaked me out. Turned on all of the lights, and started back with the SATC. I'm on Season 2 disc 1.

Does this infection make you hallucinate? I searched for mouse droppings, but I saw none, so I'm assuming these are the side affects.
I have tickets to Lykke Li tonight. I hope I feel good enough to go to Pomona. Being sick is a drag. I'm a workaholic and there's nothing to do, and I'm still in bed and....ugh. I'm so bored. I'm bored, sick, hallucinating, premenstrual and broken hearted. What a fricken mess.

Only Grammy Week......

Grammy week brings out the best and worst in all of us. Yes it's some great industry hooplah circus pretentious parade, but we all choose our jobs. Mine happens to be working with crazy pretentious people who fuel greater artists than themselves or who they would even dare to be if they had the talent.

So Wayne has rehearsals this week. 8 nominations and 3 performances which we cannot discuss until after Sunday. All I can say is that the Grammy's dare to be educational with every show and I'm proud of them. In any event, Centerstaging in Burbank looks like the Magic Johnson Fridays on a Friday night. Black folks all over, in parking lots, musicians from the last tour and dancers from the next. While we're getting work done it's perfectly normal to see Chris Brown in Studio 9, Queen Latifah in Studio 8, etcetera. It's probably the best part of Grammy Week. No lines. No velvet rope.

Grammy rehearsals are retarded. I can't go into to the depths of that, except to ask, why are black women so mean? I know, I have that bug and I was a condescending bitch before...I worked on myself. It's ugly. But I am fighting these 2 raggedy publicists just to do my job because they feel some kind of way. WTF. The Grammy production office talking major shit about how the camp is divided and ran....UGH. Embarrassing. Thank God I have a reputation that's good already.

Then there's the Black Eyed Peas Peapod charity event, a yearly staple and the first time I've worked it and not MY yearly staple, The Roots Jam Session - still doesn't sit right. Lots of fun people there. Slash, Lupe Fiasco, Janelle Monae, Cypress Hill, blah blah blah - family. It's not every night you can watch Fergie perform while drinking beers with her husband.

In any event, my buddy finished his rehearsals from the Grammys and told me to roll and meet them at the Sunset Towers. I grabbed my trusty sidekick and off we went to Hollywood. Upon arrival, we were surprised to see Sean Penn at the table, with Cleve Jones...THE Cleve Jones (http://clevejones.com/mainmenu.htm) , not Emile Herscht who played him in MILK. Fun times. We laughed, we cried, we left and went to Villa where Samantha Ronson was Jukeboxing (my affectionate term for people who simply play their serrato and cut the song off when it gets good....these people generally can't dance). And of course, wherever Ronson is, her sraggely girlfriend is sure to follow.

Apparently, Lindsey Lohan has a crush on Sean Penn. But who doesn't? I mean Fast Times At Ridgemont High shaped my teen years. BUt it was obnoxious. "Their" area was small and cramped and we had a large crew. So my buddy tells me "Tell Sean lets go upstairs so we can do "our" thing"...I say cool. I lean over to tell Sean who's short term memory was definitely fucked...I don't even know if he heard me, but I delivered the message like a good assistant and turned to leave. I must have gotten Ms. Lohans panties in a twirl, because she fell back all dramatic - some of the best acting I've ever seen her do actually - as if I'd sat on her...or kind of like how people looked at Dorothy Danridge when she dipped her toe in the pool at that Vegas hotel before they drained it. So I apologized, or pardoned myself i should say. Meanwhile she'd grabbed my sidekicks arm and said "I don't know who the hell you guys are. Get the fuck out of here."

Now, I didn't hear that part, but I had just enough whiskey in my system to pretend that I did. We decided to say later for that bitch and go upstairs to our table. The girls were cute and it was fun and light and Cleve was there and so, so what. But we were getting hyped. So Sir Penn comes upstairs and talks to my buddy in the corner, quietly, and here comes Attention-seeking-whore #1. Just standing there while the gentlemen are having a private conversation! And well, that's just rude. So I go up to her and while she's texting her generation Z ass away, I ask her,

"Hey, you aren't going to come up here starting no shit are you?"
"Excuuuuuuse me?" she responds.
"I said, we are very cool up here and not into all of that so, please don't come up here acting a fool."
"Excuuuuse me but I'm here to see HIM (pointing to Sean Penn)."
"Word? Well, I ain't with that nigga I'm with this nigga and we cool and you can't come here dictating and putting your hands on people and shit."
"Well you elbowed me!!!"
"I don't think I did, but if so, I apologize...still don't come up here starting no shit. You will come up short".
"you are being inappropriate."
"Really, inappropriate is calling people 'colored', that' s in appropriate."
"Excuuuuse me? My best friend since 5 is black."
"Oh bitch please! Just don't be starting no shit."

Then Sean and Buddy moved and walked to the table so she tried to follow him.
"Now you're harassing me." she says.
"Really? I'm harassing you Lindsay Lohan? Cuz just EVERYONE is after you right? Bitch get the fuck outta here."

And then she went to Sean and he ignored her. She is such a fake ass lesbian.

And that has been the best part of my Grammy Week. I wonder how it can get any better. 3 more days!!!!