"I never promised you a rose garden"

I love relationships.
They are amazing in what they uncover about people. How people respond and react. How the blueprint of their ID comes back to haunt them over and over again. Then, the Universe, plops something right in their laps to allow them to look at themselves, i.e. a TEST. And what do we choose to do? Of course we defend ourselves first. When i was tested last week, the first thing I did was say I'd rather quit than to face the challenge, or actually, face the fact that maybe I made someone feel some kind of way about me. I whooped and hollered and cursed and defended and threw out some "F" bombs, called some gang banger friends...the WORKS. Rather than holding still, and stop kicking and screaming your way through this, I had to sit and deal and RELATE. All relationships are this way. There isn't a moment where I have the luxury to say, "well this is just how it is and if you're rolling with me, then....". That's the way it is on ALL sides of a relationship. Something's got to give until it just doesn't. I have no desire to make people think the way I think. I think the way I think and if you choose to participate in my life, this is how it will be. We will work out what we can between the 2 of us. If we reach an impasse, we just do.

Early rise Tokyo

The sun is rising super fast in Tokyo this morning. I kind of wish I'd gotten up earlier to go the fish market. It was just that a creditor called me to tell me I was 19 days late on a bill. That was unnerving. In any event, I'm up now.

I also woke up because I thought I was dreaming but left my slingbox on. The news this morning was shattering.

 

I thought I was going to be sick. It affected all of my dreams. I woke up praying hard for this woman. I feel like I need to find her or something. Sweet Jesus, what does that mean? What is the lesson in that? God makes it tough not to question him...I don't think we're not supposed to. I think that was some Christian pastors way of shutting down his flock. I really need some answers for stuff like this, so I can cope. I can only imagine what she needs.

Hamamatstu Japan

Made it and am tired as balls.

The bad news is .... I had to set up my OWN office. JAMIIIIIIL!!!!! JEEEENNNNNNN!!!!!!

Where are they :-( ??


The good news is:
2 miles from surf action, Japan styles. AND the water is 74 degrees!

Banging.

Moving in, rolling out.

First off, Happy Birthday dream hampton!!!
September 11th is also the day my life changed. 25 year old girl en route to grad school. I get a call from my mans best friend that he was in the hospital. Turns out, he has a heart attack on the court. And he dies. Tupac, who he happens to look like, dies 2 days later. Worst thing to date I've ever gone through. In any event, shot out to Craig Antoine Price for showing me how to love.

LAST DAY

I dipped into the Atlantic moments after the shark went away....there was a shark call.

But it was beautiful. Great to have have the salt water on my body and even greater to have drinks to follow.

Got to the venue late. So there was no choice but for my assistants to handle. Wanted them to know that i trusted them....hmmm....hard pill to swallow.

Hoping we don't actually have a party and we can have our own at the beach...with no sharks. I'm going to will the sharks away.

Tina

It ain't all bad

I forgot. Snoop and Bootsy were at the show yesterday. Snoop asked me why I didn't get on stage when Gin and Juice was on.
Heh.

Eat a Dick up until you hiccup

Sweet Jesus I'm tired.
I am tired of underlying currents. Those being, "put this bitch in her place". I'm not sure how to stomach it or accept it. My first inclination is to quit altogether. Of course that would be what they want. Or maybe I'm too big for my britches? well DUH, isn't that why i was hired?
I don't know where to go with this one. Play a nice quiet 2nd base? Who doesn't know that the 2nd baseman runs the field though? It's ridiculous! And infuriating. I have had it up to here! Oh, I think that's my cue for Queen Latifah. Who, by the way, needs to chin check Perez Hilton her own self. He gets on my fucking nerves. This video is what best describes me today. I can't take no more. Jesus deliver me.