Mo Jobs Mo problems

Let me tell you a little bit about this thing called "ambition"...... He is a double- edged sword and invites all types of shit just when you think youve reached your master plan. I can't believe how much harder Managment is. I don't think its harder because anything has necessarily changed other than I'm knocking the he'll out of 40 and don't much feel like being bothered by the shit I put up with when I was 28. Bizarre. I have the reigns in my hand actually....and yet, I keep trying to throw them elsewhere. NOW all of a sudden I want LESS responsibility. Fat chance. Be careful what you wish for!

Roots Picnic Philly

So glad to be on a plane to Philly. My 36 hour turnover will be fast and furious and too much fun. 200 guests vying to be Black Thought and ?uests "remember when" homies. Fomer babies who are now 9 and 10 and in that slightly ugly missing tooth phase yet I will still kiss them, will be there. Head wraps paying homage , rather holding on to dear life, to the neo soul era. And the fabulous fabulous Roots crew. My boos. And the Ofays who love them. I'll be skinnier and barren than everyone and they will talk shit about me in a corner.....my ghetroest Philly homegirls will come in the event that something jumps off and nothing will. It will be hot and sticky and I will run around with said kids while said mothers watch and will feed them sno cones and cotton candy until they are sick and laughing and tired and given me all of their delicious kisses. And then I will send them home.

Can't wait!

Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind

I couldn't find a link fresh enough that didn't seem like a trailer, however, the premise of this movie is everything. I think I absolutely love the idea of erasing your memory of painful ordeals that have happened. Just to have a fresh start. Think of all the luggage it would remove! Or maybe people could risk more because they could simply forget about it if all else failed. I'm calling my chemist friend to see if this can be done. I'm sure it can. And then I'm on a fast train to no baggage land!

Kick Rocks

boys are stupid. They do stupid stuff. They think stupidly. They respond stupid. And they pretend stupid. It's slightly disgusting. I noticed my ex's girlfriends compassion and found myself praying for that. Compassion over judgement. Its amazing!! Patience is amazing, but tolerance? Whoa. I'm not sure I know how to find that. It would come in handy however. I always ask ladies who have been married for some time how you handle that. They still haven't put it into laymans terms. If they did, I'd have a book. I think I'll rub one out and think about this some where.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

We will make the perfect Mr and Mrs. Farris.

And for the 18th time......

There is really nothing in this life to do but learn. That's it. If you don't like to learn, you have a miserable life. Its funny, last night I was worried and concerned about my artist, pumping her up, giving pep talks, general managerial things when I said "Go with your gut." I was proud of myself until this morning when I replayed what I told her and realized....Bitch, when are you going to go with yours?

It gets confusing. When you trust no one. Mostly because your gut is a "danger" alarm. And while I am one of the biggest risk takers I know, trust is a ringer for me. Trust and acceptance and expectation all become a big ball of wonder. I wonder who I will ever trust and accept and have no expectation of. And granted, I'm not trying to beat up on myself for being open...it's just, ya know...a real pain in the ass to be hit with the same lesson...for the 18th time.

Alright....brushing shoulders off. Back to taking over the world.

Mother's Day

I spent the weekend with my mother and I'm so happy to have done so. Living in the wake of 2 grandfather's deaths I wonder what my mom feels like. Obviously sad and sure I could ask her but why bring all of that up. I try to enjoy now. But ya know, we're all going to go. The first grandfather death for me was so very unexpected and I felt so very unconnected. Like i needed to talk to everyone who ever knew him to insure that he loved me...or thought about me. I mean he's a road nigga....like me. I know that's where I got it from. I suppose I learned, in addition to why Berry Gordy ain't shit, I learned that I didn't want anyone to walk in doubt about whether or not I loved them....just because I'm a road nigga and I'm never around. It reminded me that I needed to see my mother, my cousins, my godchildren, often and always or at least contact them to let them know that even though I'm an asshole music industry person who's rarely around, I still love them.

Then my grandpa...my dad...the man who taught me of functionality and dependability, how to read street signs and my keen sense of direction (ask anyone. I truly have a good sense of direction), gave me my 1st, 2nd, 5th and 8th set of tools, and so much more...and who totally took my mom in when the 1st one failed at every turn....Sheesh. I don't even know where I was going with this actually. Point is, I'm sitting with my momma on mothers day trying to conserve energy in this hot ass house in Phoenix and I wouldn't trade places with anyone in the world. My momma is so good. Ask anyone.