Women vs Pitbulls

I look at Bleu and I think...wow...she is so loyal, to a fault.  Pitts do anything their owners tell them.  It's in their nature. They will fight to the death because their owner tells them to.  They are sturdy.  They are hardworking.  They are strong. They are loving and loyal and tough and sweet and growl.

I find that "strong" women...not necessarily only independent....ones maybe with daddy issues, mommy issues, ones who haven't had the opportunity to work through their post modern nuclear families - are comparable.  We are loyal and fearless and hardworking - in fact workaholics - anything to be agreeable and do a good job.   Oh...and then we're "bitches".

I believe it's not until we are honest with ourselves and our wants and our needs -- also known as "vulnerable" -- who will trust us?  We can't even trust ourselves.  We make decisions based on thoughts not our heart.  Ideals not realism.  Where does the balance lie?  These types of women are so extreme we almost miss the person that comes into our life that actually works with us.  How can we devote time to a relationship when we are so devoted to being strong and independent.  Then we judge everything based on that. 

On top of that, we  get into a career that dictates our choices for us and forget the things that actually make our hearts sing.  What even fills us up?  Being told we're bawse ass bitches?  Working behind niggas who will always call us sisters.  I have more HOMEBOYS/BROTHERS than I can shake a stick at!  Them niggas don't ever marry our types.   they don't teach us nothing.  They fuck with mealy mouth bitches who don't say shit.  And shutting up is like kryptonite to us.

We, then  do all the despicable shit we would never want done to us - hide shit, lie , hold secrets, buy gifts -- and then have to go home and look at ourselves in the mirror.  All for a paycheck and to be a bawse.

It's funny...I've worked for men who knew without a shadow of a doubt to hire women only.  why?  Because women give a fuck and will fight to the finish and run themselves ragged and are nurturers.  So NOW I feel like we are being sold a bill of goods.

This new independence does not lead us to tolerance nor patience nor understanding about the WORK it takes to love some one unconditionally - that means understanding by the way.

And who wants to accept defeat?  Who wants to say, damn I'm just a girl after all.  I just want a family and cook and hang out.  But damn, I sure will miss flying in and out of town 3 - 4 times per month?

Now that I've moved into TV/Film...at least its a new place to go into and hunt and gather.  But the "boys club" shit?  That mentality? Fighting against that wall...is not only frustrating, it can make you shoot someone. 

oh yes...Sexism is alive and very prevalent.