Tuesday, December 22, 2015

PUSSY FORGIVENESS



While people are amazed by the Hollywood Hills, the glittery streets of Rodeo Drive and the undulating waves of Malibu, the best kept secret is actually mi bredren and sistern of Koreatown.  Not only do you have EMC with it's $1 Happy Hour Oysters, or Shin Sun Meat where you can get your oxtails cut as you please, not even Wi Spa where the family can go and get a sugar scrub... no no...the real real is the all woman spa in a lovely turn of the century craftsman home called Jahoon Healing Spa.  JaHoon by definition is actually...well...pussy healing.  I like to call it pussy forgiveness simply because you sit over a throne....like a toilet..... and vapors filled with delicate herbs and spices are pumped up your hoo ha like WHOA!  It's hot and steamy and sweaty and you can pray and release any and everything that ever caused you neurosis.    The vapors permeate "layer upon layer" into the mucous membranes of ye ole vag.  Jahoon activates the reflexology zones and has been practiced by Korean women for generations for a variety of female reproductive issues including infertility.  Most women do this monthly after their menses to get it tight and keep it right!
Additionally the spa is so lovely and Kate Park - the proprietor - is a bonafide healer.  I spent at least an hour talking to her after a 2 hour massage where she beat the mess out of me.  Like beat.  Like shedding real thug tears over chi points in my elbow.  IMG_8607
And once you're done with that, you have lovely tea and aragon oil.  Kate is a G.
As a woman who has been on her period for a year....until recently....I'm telling you, I'm a follower.  I have seen the light.  I've forgiven my pussy for all of her trespasses and aim to start new stories with new frontiers thanks to Jahoon!  I'm making this a t-shirt.