Thursday, December 10, 2009

KRAMPUS THE CHRISTMAS DEMON

Every year around this time, I remember the days Sarah and I were in Berlin doing a winter tour. We strolled through the Christmas market of Marlene Dietrichplatz and all of a sudden these crazy demon weirdos came and hit sarah....actually, they beat her.

In old-school German folklore (Bavarian really), Krampus, dude from St. Nicks entourage, comes to beat bad kids. He's the yang to Santas Ying. Santa gives presents to good kids and Krampus to beatings to bad kids. Naughty kids, prepare to get your ass beat. Traditionally depicted with huge horns, a black mane, talon-like claws (Krampus comes from the Old German for "claw"), and wielding chains and a birch rod, Santa's enforcer beat, whipped and shamed bad children. Sometimes, Krampus went so far as to shove his victims into a sack and throw that into a river. He seemed also to have a particular penchant for birching young, pretty virgins.




Sarah started crying. I wanted to get Kamal to beat him up. It was frightening. Actually frightening.

Then we went to the Grand Hyatt for lunch, had Chestnut soup and listened to Mariah Carey's "Oh Holy Night".

Awww, Christmas.

Friday, December 4, 2009

HOLY WET CLITORISES BATMAN

I think I may have gotten the break I was looking for...in a few ways. Good old Susan Miller will need to sort this out.

http://astrologyzone.com/forecasts/monthly/leo_full.php

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

SOLDIER OF LOVE


Yes bitch...come on out!

She always comes out in Winter is seems.

Giving mad back.

DICK IS REDUNDANT

Tis true.
All this talk about how easy it is for girls to get penis and it's false. And let me tell you why.
Talking.
Talking is a sure fire way to talk yourself out of some easy pussy. Let me tell you.
Tonight a fellow was in the dressing room...been thinking about leaning up on some of that...maybe, who knows...but , ya know...ITS THERE...in the atmosphere, perhaps. So he's explaining to me how a common acquaintance is a douche and common acquaintances assistant says, "I left tv to do this." Futuro Dick says, "you LEFT tv? Are you crazy. Don't go on the road. No man will ever marry you."
Ouch.
I loved the frankness.

And i'm dealing with the reality.

But ease up selecta...I'm trying to bone you before the tour starts.