Thursday, April 28, 2011

Step your dick up

I like Porcelain Black. She's creamy. I like creamy white her and Katy Perry and Sasha Grey. If you're going to be white you should be creamy.

I like new artists. And rising ones. Once you're at the top it's kind of boring where do you go from here? Okay okay let's perform at the Superbowl! And then you do that and what's next? I know, the PYRAMIDS! Yes the dope shit. I guess I'm just not a glass ceiling kind of girl and neither are the women I've been working with the past few months.

That's been the illest shit about this tour. Being around folks that make you step your dick up. Of course you see all the weakest mother fuckers...well, wait, niggas who didn't appear weak showed their weak was revealed I should say. Man. I can't have yet another malebashing blog...but I be wondering. Dang. I mean dang. But there were white abolishinists who helped free slaves , so too must their be boys who help out women. Thank God for the few and the proud.

Thank God this shit is over and these talented women are rising to the forefront.

Summer tour's a'warmin up!

Friday, April 15, 2011


Was big and easy. I still want to go hang out tonight but maybe I should repack and sleep for 2 hours. Thing is.....this show was supposed to be hard and crazy, but it wasn't. In spite of having over 400 guests, this shit went off smooth. There are 12 cameras here filming what could possibly be a movie. Talent commented on my crip walking at the bowling alley the other night. I was a gang banger in my former life. He never talks to me. Funny how he did in that moment. I love hip hop.

All in all a pretty smooth day. I can only pray LA will be this smooth. I'll be sans one tm.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

I Tell You What

This business is interesting. Friends and business don't mix. But friends who were first business and then friends and THEN you do business with them again??? WACKNESS. Bitches ain't shit.

Fool me once, shame on me....fool me twice, I should punch you in your fuckin neck.


Monday, April 11, 2011

Meet Me in St. Louis

Outside of my window is the lovely arch and the baseball field where the Cardinals play. Too bad they have an away game. this stadium has really good nose bleed seats and beer. Too bad I can't have beer for another 2 weeks. Lent. Be killing me. I've done a not so good job. I've slipped 3 times in both the pork and beer departments but I'm trying. I need a regiment of some sort. NEED it. Being around all of these young dancer girls is making me, Tina Farris, cover up! COVER UP?! I never thought the day would come....nor did I think I'd be in my late thirties. Ha. Oh it comes Ladies. Sooner than later.

Spring has actually sprung on this tour and I have to send back at least one suitcase. All of my clothes are for warm weather. I have to go shopping today and...well....not for nothing....but I'm in St. Louis. Is this a fashion metropolis or should I be overnighting some shit on line? It's hard to have a day off. You try to do out, go shopping, do a photo shoot, get your hair braided, blah blah blah. And ....well, you know what I gotta do tonight. CASINO..BONG. St. Louis I know whatchu good for baby....I know! I'm going in.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

No More King Of Diamonds

I like my strip clubs just like the next latent homo, but this place gave me the heebie jeebeez. I know it's popular. I know these things. I know it's what rap dreams are made of. But I got straight bougie up in there. I didn't want nasty McNasty to serve me a drink. And the girls were lazy as fuck! Especially the ones in our section. Like, I need to see some cellulite ROLLING...or something all the while there was rainmaking a' poppin. There had to have been 30,000 $1 bills floating through the sky. In fact, I went home to shower off the scum of the strip club and found 2 $1 bills in my bra! That was for just standing there too...I wonder what I could do had I actually not had on a turtle neck?

Monday, April 4, 2011


Panic Attacks blow chunks.

A panic attack is a sudden episode of intense fear that develops for no apparent reason and that triggers severe physical reactions. Panic attacks can be very frightening. When panic attacks occur, you might think you're losing control, having a heart attack or even dying.

Management is one of those gigs you do and give 100% every single second....150% what have you, until you possibly crumble into a ball. I'm overwhelmed and I haven't cut out a "chunk of life" for myself. Once again. How many times will you read this and will this lesson be slapped in my face over and over. I get opportunity. When the chips are down, I get opportunity. When my heart is broken, opportunity. At every single fricken turn...VOILA!!! opportunity comes a rap tap tapping on my door...and why? To drown myself in work so that I don't have to feel anything. I am a master of "diving" into work...of "running" away...of ..."keeping it moving"...blah blah blah. And the panic attack comes from not being able to run no where. How bout that? God/Universe all work in such mysterious ways. I can't even tell you....

What calmed down my panic attack? Calling a friend who showed up on my doorstep today. Nothing better than support. Nothing.

Sunday, April 3, 2011


Driving in from one of the most convenient airports in the world, Reagan, the cherry blossoms lining the Potomac remind me what a beautiful city our Nations capital is. Driving past the Jefferson Memorial reminds me of a family trip...I must have been 13, where we visited the other Farris'. Aunt Anne, Uncle Bob, their kids, the whole side of my family and my great-grandma. We toured the whole city, as a family. When we got to the Jefferson Memorial, my grandma reached out to me so that I could guide her to the step to sit down. I said "grandma what are you doing?" She responded while pulling a jar of vaseline out of her purse, opened it saying, "I got to grease my feet!" And she proceeded to do just that. My grandpa's mom was just like him, efficient, mindful and a problem solver. I love DC.