Tuesday, January 31, 2012


Postponed show means....NIGHT OFF.
Unfortunately, I once again took on the role of Pied Fricken Piper.  Everyone gotta follow me all the gotdamn time.  Shit.  Taking me all off of my "Day Off" picture in my head.  First thing was we jumped onto the 5 tram....which is good because apparently there is only a conductor and you can ride on it for free.  THEN it all of a sudden turned into the Harvard Train and the Social Network.  We met these Frat guys who gave of a tour of the city as we walked towards the Red Light district.  Wasn't a problem since their Frat house was on the way.  I have no idea what Fraternity, only that they were going hard and dancing.
"This is how we mothafuckin' do, yo!"  They said....ha.
He showed us the Grand Palace, told us the history of the Dutch and how rich they were and who they owned.  I chimed in "like South Africa".....
"yes," he said, "that's when we had the slave trade"
"more than had, you started the motherfucker off" I quipped.
"Yes, but that was THEN.  I didn't know those people!"  -- he recovered right on time.  We had a laugh.  I've never had a discussion with the Dutch about the slave trade....interesting.

We said our goodbyes and continued through the Red Light District.  However, we quickly had to duck into a Sex show...mostly cuz it was cold as fuck. 

This one was newer than the last....Cossa Nossa or something like that.  They boasted of an enormous-dicked black man by the name of "Donkey".  This we HAD to see.

I think I explained before that the sec shows are ongoing with different acts.  My girl had never seen any of this so she was game.  My boy was bored and quickly went to sleep.  The 1st act was so very bad I almost fought the bouncers to get our money back.  Roxy said "oh fuck no, we ain't leaving til I see the Donkey".  Then "Donkey" comes out and they are seriously...onstage....going in...HARD....like, uncomfortably hard.  Like, maybe I don't want to see black folks fucking on stage.  Makes me think of circus freaks and shit and then I get all offended cuz we're in the Netherlands and then I'm over thinking as usual.  I mean we didn't LEAVE or anything like that....I was just thinking.

Niggas WAS in Paris

I’m late.  I pulled yet another all-nighter….flew into Amsterdam and now back into the production office where the stalker from Stockholm awaits.  Plus what can I tell you about Paris that you didn’t see on Youtube.  I hope Youtube doesn’t ruin the show for anyone.  I was too enamored of the medley.  It was the first time he’s done it.  During soundcheck/rehearsals he was fidgeting around and playing whatever.  We called out a few….like, D’Angelo request line?  Seriously?  Does this job get better?  I mean other than sweaty hugs and kisses when walking off stage. Pierre Sarkozy – son of the president -  came by, De La Soul was in the house, Stephen Hill, Chris Webber.  People are literally flying from all over to come see these shows….and ya know what?  It’s worth it.  Every step of it is organic.  The beauty of building anything–children, plants, relationships–is to watch it grow . Creating the show and watching it mold.  I’m sure theater actors understand this too.  You see it from conception, something on paper, something you brainstorm with your buddies or whatever…and ultimately something you dream about.  Then all cumbersome, grueling, sometimes expensive, all-encompassing acts of executing said project.   And you smile at the end.  For one second.  And then you pretty much believe you can do anything. His medley sent chills up my spine…literally.  He is so amazingly talented.   Who steps out for a decade and comes back knowing how to play the guitar…well?  He’s the shit.  That’s what he does and what he knows.  He performs. He gives his all. I love the camaraderie of managing a project with people.  The team effort of it.  The never-ending support.  It’s a system.  It makes me proud.  Pretty simple and wonderful. He’s a giver that one.  The audience gives and he gave right back….so much as to be closer to them than the stage. And now his foot hurts. Tomorrow is a new day.  New MEDLEY….new music…new butterflies….

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Day 3 - Copenhagen - Ni$$as in Paris pt Une

I've come to enjoy writing my blog in the hotel lobby.  This one has an amazing piece of artwork in it.  I'm trying to get D down here so he can play this thing.  It's amazing.  If only we could have had THIS piano in Nashville 2000 - Loews Hotel lobby, Pinos birthday and D came downstairs and played "Sign O' The Times" cover to cover on piano with ?uestlove on drums - with an old fashioned glass.  I know Kelo has that footage somewhere.

But Alas we have no ?uesto and no Kelo...only this Euro trash DJ banging bizarre electro trance music in my head.   

The ride last night was from hell.  First it was freezing, then it was stifling, then we had to get on a fucking ferry...for 10 minutes.  And then we arrive to beautiful Copenhagen.

Wonderful rehearsal today...D worked the backgrounds to my utter delight and guess what...it worked.  Way to lead the band man!  We're still in search of HIS solo....which is exciting.  Just throw anything out there man....I can't tell you all of the songs we HAVENT done....but suffice to say I have my own playlist that I play in the hotel room.  Artless, Roxanne and I had a sing-a-long to them last night until the 2nd bus driver told us to shut our pie holes in German.  I don't speak German but I can pretty much tell what shut your pie hole means.

I wore my 3rd hat on the tour tonight as Wardrobe Maven.  2 shows and its time to wash some funky clothes...everyone else throws their stuff in the bag....I collect Mr. Archers.  I lay out his wife beaters and rosaries...his hats and hang up his jacket.  And when the show is over....I give him the clean clothes to wear.  And now I need the dirty ones.....
"D....gimme yo pants"
"Scuse me?"
"I need your pants.  Can I take your pants?"
"Oh you can take my pants........lemme get your pants"
"I'm wearing a skirt"

But I digress......

So while THEY take the Amistad I and II through 3 countries for 16 hours, I'm flying my ass to Paris....my 2nd home. I'm gonna happily wash all of the bands clothes.....and D's pants.

Some girls have all the luck.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

And My Background Sang.....

Small slightly unknown fact about me....I have always wanted to be
A background singer. Started with Aretha Franklin.....possibly "Ain't no Way". I soon realized that no matter how hard I tried or studied "Ain't Know Way" I could sang. Oh in my head I sound good....I do runs and everything... But there's no way, sauf for a Bobby Brown Grammy appearance (and after several shots) could I truly do what the kids did tonight. They showed up. First world tour, first time out with D and they showed up. Our resident veteran Lady Kendra gave up the hair, the energy, the moves, the dancing....
Malcolm Little AKA "Red" gave I his all, headache and all. Jermaine better believe he was keeping up right next to Kendra and Tall Chocolate fine Rob was keeping them all in time. This is just the first show. I'm going to enjoy watching it  get better and better.

 I'm not ready to give any hints to the music yet....it's still evolving.
In a perfect world, what would you want to hear D play solo on the keyboards?

Get him to the Filadelfia

He's officially in the hotel.  I walked him in and everything.  Max....the resident soul writer has set up camp in the lobby in hopes of finishing his interview from 12 years ago and to get more from Alan Leeds.  This is shaping up to be amazing....
All with the exception of the crazy stalker that won't leave me alone. STALK-ER. Some would be hustler who thinks he's responsible for all of these shows with a penchant for chewing his teeth with their last two braces from 2001.  He's gross.  And I had to stop at least 4 of the band/crew members from popping his ass in the hotel lobby.  I have a butter knife and I'm not afraid to use it.  It's pretty weird how he's still allowed to be here and harass me.  I see how women get raped and/or murdered.  Guys pacify shit.  Like I heard 5 times "it's obvious dude has a little crush on you".  Seriously?  Can we simplify noodle brains intentions any more?  That type of thinking is why i'm sitting in the lobby with a butter knife....looking equally as crazy.   Next stop....sound check.

He Got on The Plane

Praise Jesus.  The block in my stomach is slowly unraveling.  I know once he gets on stage....once he finally makes it on the stage...he's gonna remember why he loved it all in the first place.  Since day 1 at rehearsals.....I've been hoping, praying for a spot on this tour.  Oh sure I've done the Peas, Nicki, Wayne....all for much more money...tis true...,but nothing has moved my soul quite like is 12 year sabbatical..,and any possible return , I wanted apart of the action.

Of course...as a minion, it's not easy to keep my mouth shut...I mean since i know everything and all....but I try...and hopefully is till have a friend in Alan Leeds after this.  Greatest tour manager I know and Mentor.  He's one of the originals here.
Pino Palladino...the other love of my life from a past life....is doing his thing...moisturizing loins everywhere with every slap of that bass.  Lou...choreographer....Mark Jenkins.,.the original "Untitled" body  sculptor, and Roxanne George....my girl....the hair stylist.....loving her like no other.

Some of my cohorts for years past - Martin Thomas as Production manager and lighting director.
Artless Poole, my brother and front of house sound engineer.
Kenny Nash - phillys own monitor engineer.
Sean Woods - who We know from Jill
And David Rule who has the best name next to Curtis Battles.

Then there's the newbies:
Chris Dave - Rick Rubins favorite drummer - sacrilegious I know.....
Ray Angry - our boy from the Roots who's subbing for Cleo Pookie Sample..,gotta love a nigga named Pookie.
Jesse Johnson, who's a beast but had another commitment so we have Jef Lee Johnson....killing it....
Sharkey on guitar who I'm waiting to bust out.  He's quiet and plays his position but I heard him do som Spanish guitar during rehearsal today...I know he can rock it.

We have our background vocals.....note that I was around with Anthony Hamilton and Shelby Johnson... So I expect a ton from these youngins.  Now I know they can sang....I know this...,but I'm a snobby high falootin bitch.....so we gon' see......I'm waiting to be impressed.  Yeah I said it.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Sweden....the Motherland

Im sure I've claimed this before, but yes, Scandinavia always shows and proves its original Caucusoidic White Men off. And not for nothin, out of the region I can confirm that this is where fine white people are from. Oh I get it. The Swedes get it in. And tis true....they are fine. In fact, yawl ain't seen a platinum blonde until you've seen a platinum blonde swede with red lipstick. Sheeeeeeeet. I told her. Her blonde was EVERYthing. And these fine ass tall tanned men? Come on now. It's going down in Stockholm.

Friday, January 20, 2012

Wanna Go?

Jan 26 Stockholm, Sweden Filadelphia Church
Jan 27 Copenhagen, Denmark Vega
Jan 29 Paris, France Le Zenith
Jan 30-31 Amsterdam, NL Paradiso
Feb 3 - 4 - London, UK Brixton Academy
Feb 6 - Oslo, Norway Sentrum Scene
Feb 7 - Zurich, Switzerland Palais Xtra
Feb 9 - Amsterdam, NL Paradiso
Feb 10 - Stockholm, Sweden Filadelphia Church 


I need to get past snoring. I am not a fan of the snorer. I cannot sleep. I slightly touch them, rock the bed, cough, etc. My mind wanders to if their throat is filled with phlegm, if they may choke on their own phlegm or should I bust out with the Heimlich maneuver
? And what about my sleeping? Should I just take ambien and conk out? What if I'm so passed out I miss the accidental hard-on swipe mid sleep and I'm too drowsy to catch it? I often sleep with my ipod in my ears but that's HELL of loud. Still no sleep. I need suggestions.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012



Happy New Year. I'm so late....So much has happened. So much learned. So much not. What I have found is that scrubs are the best thing on the planet. No, not deadbeat ass niggas from TLC songs...I mean body scrubs. My skin is one of my best qualities. So today was skin day. I ate an ample plate of salmon sashimi....very fatty. Omega 3. Wonder why THIS black don't crack? I'm a sushi fanatic and the fattier the salmon the better.
Then we get to the scrub action. If you can't go to a Korean Spa and get the black ass skin scrubbed to the meat....and I mean to the meat.

There are 2 scrubs that I'm in love with:
Tade Hammam Black Soap.

I found this soap for the first time in Ramatuelle, France. A small village built within the hills overlooking St. Tropez. It smells like....I'm not sure. It seems like you aren't supposed to like the smell but then you do. It's not granulated like sugar and salt scrubs, it's very soft. It leaves your skin to die for smooth. Mmmph. Love it. Oh...and I believe it's only sold in New London Pharmacy Chelsea in NYC. Online.
the bath mit is brilliant too. Also not abrasive and perfectly good. Also

The next is Pure Fiji Sugar Scrub. coconut. The ingredients in that you can probably cook with. There is no need for lotion after scrubbing yourself down. It's .....pure heaven in your bathtub/shower. This you can buy on

All of this is some supreme good loving for yourself. Let me know how it worked!