Thursday, September 30, 2010

CHANGES - Day 2 - 1st show

I think I move too fast.
Correction, I know I move fast. Too fast for who is the question?
I don't think you get to certain levels of success by taking it easy, calming your nerves or letting things take their course. I believe you push, rearrange, manipulate and basic move time and space go make shit happen. All types of shit. Shit you have been told "no" all your life too. Shit that people will continuously tell you "no" about. My job is to make it all a yes. Yes yes yes yes. It's the perfect job since I hate being told no. It's also a curse since I know I can make shit happen, I expect everyone else to as well. And the disappointment when they cant....well, let's just say I'd make a Jewish mother blush. How to work out this conundrum? I'll start by changing the name of this tour to the ......FIRST WHORERAH TOUR!!!!

yes ladies and gentlemen brought back by popular demand......too many complaints....can't let folks down.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

LAST WHORERAH......Day 1 - Rehearsals

Monterrey is hotter than I anticipated. Annoying. I wore jeans instead of my poom pooms.
Whatsmore, Montettey has left me a bit frightened. Muthafuckas be kidnapping niggas around here. NIGGAS TOO. I've been spending most of my life trying to hide behind the shield that niggas ain't worth enough to that Obama is president, we're hot on the market. But in my OWN group....we still ain't as hot with security. Apparently only some people are worth saving. Classism.

The good news is that my runner is cute. Mario. And he speaks fluent everything. He better be lucky I've put up my Puma Paws....better be lucky.

The stage is huge. so we need to fill it up with 20 dancers or so. New job addition? find 20 local dancers to fill up the stage. Local. Mexico and South America. I wonder who will ever want to do that? Dance on stage with the biggest tour out right now. Ha. The auditions will be wonderful.

Additionally, we have changed the logistics about 4 more times. And it's just the first day. Seriously. My brain needs a break...for at least 8 hours. I dream about this shit.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Snoop d o double g

I actually sang "if the homies can't have none " WITH Kurupt...on stage...well, not WITH him. I was using a soda can for a mic...but STILL. I'm fanning out. It's true. Daz, Kurupt, Snoop..I can't take it. West side till I die! For serious. He is such an icon it's crazy. The love he gets from the crowd is unparalleled. He don't need no records to tour. He can just do that shit. Tha bizness. Oh yes he is. Oh yes. He. Is.

So I'm starting the South America tour Tuesday and everything we set in place has been changed. Why? Niggers. Why else? I have come to the conclusion that touring is my lifes work and that I am here for the purpose of makin niggas look good in my nigga auntie way. My services of controlling negritude are in high demand. Speaking of high, the contact high experienced earlier today was mesmerizing. It's to be expected round these parts...but DAMN! It's serious. Maybe that's why I'm just blabbering away about it.

So back to South America... I'm gonna cal this tour "the Last Whorah!". Bitches is gettin old round here!

My cousin/niece/daughter has her legs and booty out at a Snoop concert in the middle of Cali on a reservation wondering why Mexicans and Dykes are tryna holler....why ask why I say..holler back!

What will my pen name be for my "Last Whorah" chronicles? South America must be chronicled. Why? The walls are closing in on
You know I believe in asking the Universe for what you want and then you receive it. So yeah, niggas is trine make me sit down. All over. And I don't wanna! I'm going out kicking and screaming! Yes I'm a commitment phone yes! Give a potion or something to calm that shit down. Yes, whoever has the pill that will make me settle down should step up. Its true. Right when you're ready for me I bounce. Like clockwork. I'm THAT lame. So yeah, people got problems.

Bedtime now.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Hot Slut Of The Day!

I decided to make my return to blogging with a bit of Labor Day festivity. Why I am so late on internet tabloids is beyond me, but Dlisted is a keeper.