Wednesday, March 18, 2009


For St. Patty's day, and the first night of the 2nd leg of the Wayne tour - new set, new costumes, new songs - we bought everyone Guinness Stout. Corny, yes I know. Country boys don't like Guinness. Turns out, since it's all we had, they drank the shit out of that beer.

We started in the management office. Planning, drinking, talking shit, drinking, learning rules of Euro travel, drinking, and the manager and his assistant started having a tete-a-tete here and there. No biggie.

Party moves to my room. I had a good one. Top floor, corner, view , must be shared.

So we started the party. We had port, but it was something. Patron. Guinness. Gross combo, right? Indeed. The managers carry their tete-a-tete to the room and a fight ensues. I mean punches thrown, coffee tables moved, pillows knocling the fuck out of people, glasses flying through the air. And the laughter. Oh the laughter. So much laughter. There is nothing better than a fight at a party in my eyes. It's only natural. I mean, good music, free drank, and some bows being thrown? Puhlease. Pass me a cigarette and some dick after that one. I wish I could figure out how to post video.

And it wasn't the only fight! Oh no, there was more. Our pole dancer, as most professional pole dancers, is a gymnast or something. She is VERY strong. Serena-esque. One of the guys embarrassed her or made her mad in some way. In an instant, she ran across the floor and slid into dude. Grabbed his legs with hers and took him down to the floor. Before he could think about what she'd done, she flipped her body, dismantling him altogether and dropped that nigga on his back. She counted out to 3. He was done. She then ran to the couch and pouted. As if to say "See! Why you make me do that!"

It was amazing. I've now found what my new goal is. Wrestling. As if I needed anything else to emasculate a muthafucka.

Just goes to show you what a little Guinness will do. It's amazing. The Irish are drunk by proxy. Like any other enslaved people. We have so much in common. Happy St. Patty's Day to all my Irish Niggas!

Sunday, March 15, 2009


Today I visited the Hollywood Flea Market, my first time amazingly, and there were feminists shouting through a loud speaker about how we need to take down mysogynistic regimes, educate those about Imperialism and it's inherent sexism, and how women are constantly dominated even still in 2009. It was then that I realized....who on Earth could possibly dominate me? I said to my girl, "I wish somebody WOULD dominate me! Who will do that? Who will try? Who won't run away with their tales between their legs." She promptly responded, "you want to be dominated recreationally. Feminists are talking about men subjugating women mentally, physically with money and power." I figure we need to have a meeting of the minds. Women who get dominated, and women who want to be. How do you think and how do we think? I don't mean judge, I mean, really, what is it about you that turns men on? Is it that you just don't say ANYTHING? And then I thought, is that what it takes to be dominated or even married. And then I thought....fuck marriage.
Which is what I've been thinking a lot lately. Particularly since the men who actually "see" me as of late have been 11 years my junior or married.

And those married men. They are the most painful. I had someone tell me today that I would have restrictions in this relationship just as does. As if they were the same. Me traveling for a living. He having a 9 to 5, wife and many, many children. He explained to me that I will have trouble having a relationship with ANYONE until I figure out where I am going to locate and what I am going to do with my career. As if just having this career wasn't enough. He said that unless the man I am going to be with is on the road with me, it will be impossible to have a relationship. Why thank you Lord Man. I guess that would be domination and I guess my response would be why I ain't married.

I know people who have long distance relationships. They work for awhile and then people decide to move to either side of the country, whichever state, etc. The fact that he equated a long distance relationship to an affair bothered the dog shit out of me. What fucking nerve. And since I'm working on my "please-dominate-me" skills - one being, watch what you say, I kindly stated that those two were not equal. The question of relocating vs cheating were two totally different things. One is the drama you may look forward to while the other was a detriment to my soul. "Oh, I understand. I think it's a bit presumptuous for you to think I have some sort of expectation of you when this is pretty impossible." Really nigga? Duh. I guess it sounded better coming out of his mouth.

Fucking annoying.

I still wish somebody COULD dominate me. I would like them to at least try. I would like them to nevermind what I do for a living, someone who isn't married, I mean, and honestly assess relationship versus power play.

And they ALL do it. They do. It's in them. They can't help themselves. I asked my best friend to be a sperm donor for me and all of a sudden I had to move to another state. Maybe that was an attempt at domination and I shut it down? Hmmm.

Okay, my girl is right. I want recreational domination.

Friday, March 6, 2009

You know them black women.......

That black dudes say, yawl is loud and emasculating and ghetto and THATS why we date white women????

Well, they all work for Cash Money/Universal Group.

I have never met a group of more territorial (except maybe me circa 01) women in all of my life! Rifrickendiculous.

It's hilarious to me how people cannot adjust to change when change is absolutely fundamental for growth. Oh yeah, niggas don't like growth.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Start spreading the news....

Beautiful. 5 - 6 inches of fluffy white snow. Radiators that crank out heat at levels of "on" or "off". No in between. You enter from the freezing outdoors of 36 degrees to sweltering heat indoors. Crack a window that blows flurries of snowflakes in....overcast skies....and the inevitable sound of New York traffic.

I do love New York. Tis true.

Mostly because the Knickerbocker restaurant and all it's classic New Yorkness is right across the street. I can leave this fantastic apartment and walk across and have Sidecar and a steak (I gave up alcohol and hard liquor for Lent - a shame).

And I got to visit with my sister, the most beautiful girl in the world, at work at my favorite Tunisian restaurant - Cafe Noir.

I enjoyed my visit with my New York friends. I love them. The ambition and the spirit of ambition here really gets me hyped. Don't get me wrong, I LOOOOVE L.A. I'm probably the last true fan of it. But today, was a perfect Sunday. My best body allowed me to sleep at his house and I didn't even have to travel to Brooklyn. My best girl came over to pick me up. We all went to the country club we like to call the Knickerbocker across the street. I had a Sidecar...a Makers Mark Sidecar to be exact. Then 2 pitchers of Sangria. Then a taxi ride home and into the comfort of my buddy's warm home again. And now I'm watching Kanye West's Vh1 Storytellers.

My greatest shame in life is never to be able to see me perform on stage. So you will get a pleasure that I can never see in life.

---- Kanye West.

Damn I love that nigga. I really do. The more arrogant he is, the longer his shag gets, I love him that much more. Unstoppable. I ride for Kanye. I can't believe he's not a Leo. Vh1 Storytellers. That shit was great.

Tomorrow, the boys, The Roots, premiere with Jimmy Fallon on his show. I will be there to support. I love them. Please tune in. NBC. 12:30am.