Monday, June 1, 2009


I'm so black Greg Tate ain't got nuthin' on me. I am completely and utterly sunburnt. I just swore up and down that my melanin would save the day. I am sadly mistaken. I was awoken this morning, not by the sun rising over Diamond Head, not by waves lapping outside my door, but by my sheets stuck to the back of my legs. I tried to move but used the back of my arms which also stuck. Then I tried with my shoulders who, as their fellow limbs, were also stuck. The burn of sunburn. I've been sunburned before, hell i'm from Sacramento. I remember 109 degree summers. It's starts on my little rosy cheeks and then maybe my shoulders. But my back and my BOOTY? Lord have mercy even my BOOTY is sunburned.

But it was for a good cause.

I rode a 7 foot wave. Oh yes, I did (said wave photo not included). I rode it looong and haard. I didn't falter, fall, succumb, nothin! I rode that muthfucka til ITS wheels fell off. OH hells yeah. And then I did it again.

I put in 4 days in a row of long hard surfing. And just when I thought I was good and could take day 5 by storm? Sheets stuck on the back of my ass. Walking in the sun actually hurt. I'm Indian black. Which I don't mind. I just hate that I hurt whenever people touch me. That's some white shit man! First surfing, then the Fat Boys break up, now this.

However, I stayed in the best hotel EVER. The Waikiki Grand hotel. 1 block from the beach. I can see the break I surf from my lanai. And did I mention the best part? It's GAY FRIENDLY. And did I mention the next best part? You know how hotel bars are usually poppin'? Well this one was poppin' and it's a GAY BAR. They showed Donna Summer and Jody Watley videos, excerpts from gay themed movies like "Mambo Italiano" and "the Bird Cage" and anything John Waters. They had a male reveiw Thursday through Saturday nights. AND, did I mention the 3rd best thing EVER? Besides the kitchenette I had in my cute condo, I cooked for me and my girl who rolled out on a humbug from NYC. So we had bacon, eggs, croissants, coffee and guava nectar all on the lanai....Roberta Flack crooning from the IPOD, and what do I see rolling down Kalakaua Blvd? A GAY PRIDE PARADE!!!!

Can you imagine what the bar was going to be like AFTER the party? Child, we ate and ran to the bar for $2.00 bloody mary's and all the topless boys you can see. The lesbians were friendly. I told the first ones we were straight and they stopped talking to us. But the next few gals were cool as cucumbers. Found out all of the great house music hangs, concerts in the park, that 70% of the military was gay - "don't ask DO tell" was amazing.

All before 11:45am.

That's when I headed out for the surf.

By the time I came back, I was a chocolatey new sensation. Amazing. So I thought.

Til this morning. Now I'm happy to leave this island.

That and my Surf Boo's daughter got really ill so I didn't get to have that final romantic evening I wanted. Such is life when dating dudes with kids. I had to really think about that. Do I want to date someone with kids? And I do. By the time my old ass has a baby I want them to already have siblings. Plus I like guys who have kids already, and are actually apart of their lives and take care of them. If only they can make room for newness in their lives and no baby mama drama I'm all in. Hell, I'm still friends with my ex boyfriends ex wife, so anything is possible.

Oh Honolulu....I'll be back in 2 weeks. With some 87 proof sun block.  Surf boys are still CRAZY fine.

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