Sunday, September 27, 2015

貪欲 Don'yoku

I stay hungry in Japan.
When I eat too much exotic sushi it spins my stomach.
I try to make it up by choosing some stupid meal half Japanese , half carb meal.  Hence, stomach pains. 
Add that to a set of ovaries teeming with fibroids and you have a woman seriously on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
I have had fibroids, along with a group of my closest fibroid having friends , for at least 10 years now. Intensely begging the question : to hysterectomy or to not?  And of course the answer is NOT.  I wouldn’t dare dream of having some Westernized Man selling me out to the highest surgery bidder.  I made the mistake of the myomectomy 7 years ago.  It’s like the gray hair of fibroids.  You pull one and they come back 1000 fold.

It also gets increasingly worse.  I should probably stop eating meat, go raw, only organic (which is about the only thing I adhere to).  The rare sex that I do get gets more and more painful.  These fibroids defense game is no match for the 6 eggs I’ve got.  And in the midst of all of this depressive information – and believe you me, it sounds depressive and it IS – you are supposed to fight for a body part that has ultimately turned its back on you – threw in the towel, allowed another nigga up in YOUR space telling you how shits finna be and how you and them eggs needs to fall the fuck back. 

Let’s take it up a notch.

Then it says…hey, you’ve been on your period for what….almost a year now yeah?  So the hormones nor the birth control (HA…birth control on TOP of it all) aren’t working.  AND – I’m going to give you the ROCKSTAR of cramps.  No not no baby cramps.  I’m talking you need 800 mg ibuprofen 3 times a day which eats away at your stomach lining and ultimately you wouldn’t be able to carry a baby to full term anyway because, ya know, you ain’t got no stomach.

So verily verily I say unto thee…..What in God’s name am I holding on to the defective piece of crap for?!! (yes I’m under the influence of 4th hour cramps – the ibuprofen has worn off)….

I want to stab myself repeatedly.  Like you would a tri tip on the grill.  Only instead of turning it over I want to literally rip out my insides.

What a fucking crappy card dealt.  And I’m religious so I have knock down drag out fights with God…pissed….he don’t really answer the way I’d like.  So I’m just mean to everyone….  Resulting in, of course, someone saying “damn she must be on her period.”…. Yeah, like for ever muthafucker. 

I know, think of the bright side….at least you’re having your shitty period in Tokyo…. Right?

There are these Fibroid Embolization methods, allegedly, that in our great country (greatest on earth or go somewhere else they say) , charges $20,000 at least out of pocket.  OR, you can go to Thailand and get it done for like 5k plus a vacation.  I’m truly seeking out global options for this surgery.  Other countries are at least more hopeful about saving your body parts versus destroying you and are well versed in procedures – all at a quarter of the cost.  I was thinking of making it a fun family trip – a few party chicks, hanging out – they’ll have some sort of creamy minty Vietnamese version of the mojito, whilst I sip on my cocktail of morphine drips and Oxycodone…..mmmmm……  how much better can this party get?
Well I’d have to fly business because sitting upright on a cut up stomach is probably zero fun….but at least I’ll be able to garner more miles, yeah?

This glass half full shit is hard work.  Let me get ready for lobby fucking call.


  1. I haven't had fibroids but had a uterine ablation (hot water cauterized my uterus) to stop my heavy heavy periods. Best decision ever!