I officially psyched myself out. Only due to the fact that SOMEbody told me it was shark mating season. Whatever the hell that is. I thought sharks could mate any time they damn well please.
but let me start again.
Woke up ready to work and take on Australia. We don't have those fancy and efficient Japanese tour managers with us so, alas, the holiday was over. Steering clear of road booty I decide to go see a good friend of mine I met once upon a time when I was an Italian boys piece and he put me up in his Santa Monica condo. I rented out a room and found the lovely Anne. Anne happens to live in Brisbane and I went to stay at her house. The driver we're using for this run also works for the likes of the Offspring and Ben Harper. So I knew 2 Brisbanians. Lo and behold, he's taking me to my friend who happens to live on his old street. Upon arrival turns out they know each other. The only 2 people in Australia I know, who I met in LA, both live on the same street. What are the odds?
She then took me to Morgans in Scarborough, delicious fresh fish from the bay...the SAME bay that we rented a fishing boat in last time we were here for the Police tour. Crazy huh?
Had a nice normal evening in a home, in a recliner, watching tivo'd "Without A Trace".
Finally went to bed at 3am waking up to drama in Waynes World. 4 days before we depart and now everyone wants to talk and have opinions. Sheesh. But this is the life and I take it for better or for worse.
Meanwhile, Road Booty texts and complains and offers a car and I'm swearing him off cuz this is his hood, right? And he's a free spirit and Australians can fight? I may run up on the wrong bitch fucking around with him. But he offers to take me surfing.
I decline and my friend Anne takes me to the Gold Coast. Meanwhile, there's a Facebook convo about shark mating and about how I need to be careful and watch for Greyshirts and tsunamis and swells ...and oh, this is the area where shark are least populated. Anne then tells me that there were only 2 shark attacks this year in all of Australia and those odds are great.
So determined not to be a buster and get all the way to Australia with 2 wet suits, I put on my new one and get into the water...on an 8 foot board mind you. Didn't catch shit. Waves were rocky. And every shadow I saw I thought was a tiger shark (cuz that's all they have here, no great whites) or a hammerhead). These are my options. Then the lifeguard yells over the loud speaker "Surfers please paddle away from the swimming area!"....SHARKS! Where? What sharks? I'm the fuck up out of here.
And I ended my surf time in 45 minutes. I'll try again in Melbourne...Perth for sure. But NO BODY talk to me about sharks no more damnit. I don't want to hear about shark nets, great lifeguards, or NOTHING. I surf perfectly fine with no lifeguards in Malibu and I've never been freaked out the way I was today.
But my suit is sooooo cute.
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