When I have MY 40th......

C put on a great party.

But moreover, she got herself out of a situation, saw the light at the end of the tunnel and pursued her dreams. C was first personal assistant and then day to day to one of the greatest largest crossover rappers in the world. Right about the time I was balking and whining about being "stuck" on the road --- and believe me, as any job it too becomes a rut, she was doing the same thing. When you have someone's world in your computer, a raw nigga wouldn't even let you have a boyfriend. My boss looks niggas up and down every SINGLE time I bring one around. Kind of endearing like a brother, yet mostly annoying like a nigga who ain't tryna fuck still cock blocking. In any event, I see her from time to time as we all do...women in music. in our 30's. Bound to our jobs with no husband and no kids yet what's the alternative? We have a HELL of a job....

And I see her yesterday. She produced Naomi Cambells 40th birthday. Purple and white striped zebras, purple panthers....and you know why...or maybe yawl don't? We were the surprise guest. Yet the BIGGEST surprise? 62 year old Grace Jones popping out of a cake on stage. Bigger than that? She ripped off her cape/robe and revealed her 62 year old body in white body paint. TITS AND ASS TITS AND ASS TITS AND ASS....
Yes I cried.

She is EVERYTHING. Even Will and Apl were beyond excited for us to meet. It was a quick meeting. Much quicker than mine and G. Butler but that's another story....a new goal. I got time on that one.

She was amazing. Naomi looked amazing. J lo and Marc Anthony partied. Peas brought everyone on stage. Mary J danced with Jimmy Iovine and all to the back drop of purple panthers and purple and white striped zebras.

C! I need you to throw my 40th!!! THis was such a night to remember..

PARIS IN SPRINGTIME

When I first started this job, I was a teacher. Teachers have some of the best vacation days ever. It's a great transitional job since you were off summers, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter and so forth. So much so when I became a "Band Aid" (much better sounding than Groupie) for the Roots, I was easily able to hang out during those vacations.

The first time I came to Paris with them and saw their show at Elysee Montmartre, I was blown away. My two favorite things had come together, hip hop and France. I met the promoter of the show who at the time seemed slight swarthy and we developed a relationship.

Most of my French I attribute to some past life memory that allows e to speak and the other, is settling shows and fighting constantly with this promoter - Salamon.

Salamon and I have gotten into it over the years about Colonialism (my favorite topic). He's Arabic (admittedly after many conversations about Africa being Africa - blah blah blah) and very successful. I've watched him grow his business from doing shows at Elysee Montmartre, to selling the Roots largest show (prior to Brixton Academy) at the Zenith - 6000 + people, to now out with the Peas selling to 50,000 fans in 3 shows.

This morning we had breakfast.

The last time we spoke he was going through a terrible divorce and now it's over and he's expecting a child next month. His 2nd. His first is about 30. I don't know how old Salamon is but let's just say he keeps it moving.

And then he starts in on me.
"I thought you said you wanted to quit the road. it was too much."
"yes, but now I have this business. I have tour management agency, blah blah blah. I want to buy a vineyard in France, blah blah blah."

"yes, tina, well taking care of everyone else is good an all but when do you take care of yourself. They will all use you and then in the end what will you have. Be careful Tina. "

Who does he think he is? reading me like this so early in the morning in my favorite city?
"I am your friend Tina, I have seen you for a long time. You must have yourself a life."

Like, duh Salamon. I try to explain how no one wants a woman who works all the time. And he agrees and looks at me like it's MY fault. Ha. I wish I knew how to make it all work. It's true. All of it. And while all of my guy friends say this, I guess it took a man I talk to once a year by email and see even less (older and wiser of course) to let me have it...casually over breakfast.

Am I the crazy party girl that will be the old chick in the club? Scary.

LIQUIDROOM SPA BERLIN

Just when I thought I couldn't love Berlin more, I go to Liquidroom. It is a co-ed spa. And when I say co-ed, I mean down to the dressing room. No before you get excited, there are cameras everywhere and it was closed down for a few years. I think all of the water and nakedness became a haven for disease...and I see how. The first thing you even think about is getting it in. I mean. It is too sexy. Steam rooms and 2 dry heat saunas. the giant pool under the dome is the masterpiece. It's a salt filled pool so that you may float. Bathing attire must be worn into all pools. This one services about 50 people and a harpist plays at some point during the day. Complete and utter relaxation. There is also a point where you can go into the sauna and get pretty much all hot air blown at you, then take natural salt...like Mortons. Table kind. nothing difficult and everyone goes into the shower and scrubs themselves...others will help for those hard to reach spots. then you go back into the sauna to get more heat thrown at you....which burns, and then you rinse off....and revealed is the yummiest skin ever. Follow that up with some honey in a steam bath and WOW....you are HOT child! HOT! And this includes co-ed nakedness.

Why have never seen more saggy balls and over-skinned peni in all of my days. Circumcision be damned over off up in here! Let me tell you. And the coup d'etat? A bar. They serve processco...or wine. And you can order food. in the buff. I wish the US could be so progressive.

Milano Paparrazi

Ok. I'm a geek. but I did have one of the best days of my life in Milan yesterday. The arrangement was for the kids to go to all of these designers on via montenapoleone...like what 5th Avenue wishes it could be....with the kids and her hubbie and followed by Paparrazi! A- mazing....and I got clothes. All the clothes...FREE. I dunno. I felt like Cinderella. Seriously. I'm ready for Berlin now. I can go. I can't do no more in Milan. She picked out the glasses....but the dress....mmph. I don't know WHAT i'm wearing that to!

AMSTERDAM DAY OFF

I had a post and thought I'd saved it but alas it went away. I don't even know what it was about. Oh yes....our 12 hour whirlwind day off in Amsterdam. We show up to the train station to piles of trash. I figure, maybe it's a day off..."Bank Holiday" as they call it. However, as we trotted through the streets to Leidsplein square...there is trash and pigeons everywhere. It's more than a day off. It's a fricken strike! And can I just say that the Amsterdam Sanitation Department well made their point. GIVE THEM THE RAISE!! That shit was fucking disGUSTING.


So I did what any normal person would do....ducked into Rokery (my fave) got blitz then went to eat. After we ate the trash was still there...so I did what any normal person would do....went to Rokery and got blitz.


Then we decided to see...some CULTURE.....so we went to the Heineken museum. Rushed through because the gift of 2 beers was being taunted at the end. They have a brewery ride! It was the most over produced fabulous thing I'd ever seen. Somewhere between a museum and an amusement park. I wasn't mad. How could I have been. I had just visited Rokerty.



THEN we philosiphised about going to the casino, jam session or sex show.....so we did what any normal group would do...we split the fuck up. I can't be bothered with everyone's happiness. Stopped at the Jam Session. Turns out, no one told anyone in the Netherlands that Neo-Soul had died. ....so we did what any normal person would do with 2 hours left....YUP...went to the Red Light District to get up on some Moulin Rouge. And would you BELIEVE, all that running around and we missed the Banana in the tail pipe.


So we had to settle for the big broad with the pearls. 4 pearls. HA! I can do that in my sleep. At least we got free drinks....

The Portait of America from abroad

damn....we be fucking up....

M.I.A, Born Free from ROMAIN-GAVRAS on Vimeo.