Entrapment and other ways to get a man

So after watching "Think Like A Man" the other day, I was wondering...well trying to remember, if the book gave healthy pointers on entrapment.  You know...the old...."guess what I'm pregnant and now we can be a happy family ...right?"  It cracks me up.  I'm learning day by day some of the fundamental things that the women's movement took away from we career-oriented women.  And it's not ALL of us...by no means of course.  Excuse my generalization.  But truly....our parent's ....grandparents, and maybe or clearly from a lack of their own understanding .... failed to teach us about love.  "Love is patient, love is kind...."  Stop right there.  Cuz truly, if you ain't doing NONE of that....well, you've missed the 1st 2 steps of love.  Tolerating bullshit is different from being patient.  Bullshit is judgment and judgment gets in the way of all sorts of good stuff.  People spend YEARS to develop strong, idealized relationships.  The patience it requires....I have learned....is ASTOUNDING.  I do know that sometimes....just sometimes, we ...I...let me speak in I statements, think I can bully our way into having something we want.  Like we have this plan in our head and if we don't make the NEXT nigga we've chosen into that plan he's no good.

My boss told me...."falling in love" is kind of weird the way we go about it.
"We say shit like "I'm looking to get married....or I'm looking for my husband"...and the NEXT person we see is just it....vs ....I've been seeing someone and THAT person makes me want to be a better person and so I want to marry THAT person.  It's a different spin."

And a backwards spin at that.  Like, you have so much expectation you've lauded onto that one person that when they fuck up...and they will...we are all human, you leave no room for them to improve or get better or to even KNOW THAT YOU DONT LIKE SOMETHING...because "they should just know".  What kind of bullshit trap is that?  You will be disappointed in this life time and time again.  But the reactionary stance is so anti-love I just don't know how I was trapped in that for so long.  Ladies, it's a waste of fucking time.  Please.  Remember when you judge someone about something they are doing, you will be met with that judgment too.  And my biggest fear is that someone isn't going to see that my bullshit is just that....bullshit.   I want someone to love me past that....I do a good enough job beating myself up.  Everyone deserves better.