Women of Porn

There is a new book club....and it's chat rooms and the chicks in them. They chat together with their husbands...not swingers or nothing, though I'm sure they are there, but really...cool folks all in a chat room talking shit about the live webcam de jour. And I mean who are we fooling, some those web cams are hilarious. A lot is really wackadoo central but once and awhile you come up with some good stuff. It's like visiting Amsterdams red light district and watching sex shows but in the comfort of your own home!!! With friends! Because only pervs go to sex shows solo. There should be an X Factor for porn....Yes. THERE SHOULD BE America's Next Top DPer....or something like that. And we'll all cry when the nice girl slightly past her prime gets beat out by the young teeny bopper with the fake ass and the already rejuvenated vag.

Let's hear it for the new female community! It's like a book club, tea party.

Remember 1 Night Stands???

Those were crazy right? Like, I remember them....so clearly, I think, and then..POOF...they've come and gone. Surely I cannot be old enough to not have those. I mean they were good right? Casual, compartmentalized and dirty...or not so dirty. I don't know, depends on how you roll. But now I feel like I have a sticker on my back ...."no 1 night stands here"....ummm why? Moreover, who cares? I mean you can care, but it can't be all obsessive...it's usually better out of the country anyway. There are set boundaries....oceans for one. Land mass. Flights. Etcetera. But now with the internet and fricken FACEBOOK, those once nameless distant memories are in your inbox. Is it an age thing or a 2011 thing. Like are One Night Stands sooooo 2010? What did I miss out on?

Guys, don't forget the 7 top rules:

Just A Band - Ha-He

Thank God. I knew I needed some good old fashioned nYC hipster time. Thanks to Ginny Suss who connected me to my newest obsession. I know, with Iggy Azalea I was going for the obvious....but this one will take a little work....and focus....but by next summer I can have them rocking in Ibiza!!!

14th St. Station

In my attempt to scale down during my temporary lapse of job and major attempt at being bi-coastal, I ventured out to take the train from Chelsea. I normally brave this feat with my friend, but as she s on the vacation I denied myself during my "scale back period"-I would be braving this 3 train ride on my own.

The office I'm working in is in Chelsea. After work, I met up for drinks with the fabulous Sean Patterson who had much advice to offer on my career change. It seems that while I venture into film and tv land, I happen to have fans who miss me in music....already. It's only been a month. And while I forage into new frontiers they have plenty of ideas for me to reinvent myself in the old ones. Go figure. Gotta love people who love you.

So, I deny my urge to take a taxi and talk on the phone to use my Recently purchased metro card and dwell with the people....what makes NYC so great....public transportation n shit. I gotta take 3 trains from Chelsea.....THREE! But for $2.25 I can do it.

After my 2nd Connection I miss the Q in which I find myself at 14th street. During my 15 minute wait, there's a fab 1 man band rendition of "Let this Groove" by Earth, Wind & Fire, filling the airwaves.....it was great! Guitar solo and all.

I then notice this cute black girl and cutey patootey white (jewish) boy , young, sitting there, gazing into each others eyes. She was shy. He was deliberate. He wants to know her. She had the loveliest Afro underground.....he touched it, she blushed and put her hood on. I felt bad for her. She seemed so ashamed. He fell back. They got on the train, he unveiled her hair, put his arm around her and she nestled right into the nook. It was so sweet! I love how he noted her insecurity, gave her a minute and accepted her all over again....for her sake. Loving. Baby pooh bears.

After they left I could still hear the one man band. I'm realizing he's not all that fabulous, he may possibly be a hack. He's been playing the same song for 12 minutes. Who wants a one man jam band? Seriously.

Fall family Day

I went to my nieces school today. A beautiful school nestled in the lovely, extravagant, wonderfully appointed neighborhood of Short Hills, NJ. If I could transplant Northern California to the East Coast, it would be South Orange, NJ and it's surrounding areas. I have had the pleasure of meeting a wonderful same sex family (pc) and many lovely mothers who all have ideas of who to hook me up with. They have different view points worth listening to. But I gotta tell ya....screaming kids ain't my thing. Talking back ain't my thing. Making your entire life about the child...turns out, may not actually be my thing. Lord knows I'm ready for the next sector of my life...would love to say...yes, this is the most important thing in my life...but I don't know. The incessant talk about not having time to yourself..ever. Or maybe the right idea is to wait late as possible. All I know is instead of being more encouraged, I'm more doubtful than ever before. Doubt is a beast.

State of the Womanizer

I guess the reality is that if you claim it and you know the, then somehow you attract them...in varying bunches. That being the case, there isn't one worse than the, other they're all pretty much....whack and unavailable. Working on it and passing the time with them doesn't seem to do the trick either.....it's just a longer road to the inevitable. Funny thing is, I don't have the problem of mistaking sex as the issue, I have the problem of the "friend". They love being my best friend and some how some way thinks that I'm all the better for it. In the end, I find out, yes I am....I don't have to endure the hell of said relationship with said womanizer who all in all, simply isn't available.....but, I still have to endure the plans, the wedding, the conversations about who they ultimately end up with because they fell back long enough and it's kind of owed to them.....etc....,.but I still can't get over thats what one has to endure. Pain. Repeatedly. And accept it! It makes me so fucking angry. What do you end up winning exactly? Long conversations about absolutely fucking nothing? Being the "shoulder"? It's such utter bullshit I may throw up.

New Mood

Today I start the day with new energy, meaning old energy has got to go. Old clothes, old music, old people. Not as in the elderly, but people who leech off of you for anything. Doesn't mean money, doesn't mean class, jobs, or any devices used to get "in"...just the fact that they are there....barely lurking around. Stepping in and out of your life at their whim...for their own purposes, sucking the very life out of ya. They've got to go. People are poison.

The Road to Hell

The road to hell is so very wide and long. So much compromise. When your brain is focused on money making only and not an ounce of compassion, the shit you do is amazing. I became an eggshell walking, angry, reactionary evil bitch. What's new about that you may ask? I was extremely unhappy. At least you can count on me to be a goofball. But I had no goof left. And so, I walked.

After walking, the reaction to my walking was Goldy worthy. Niggas had to pimp slap a bitch...that's what you do you know, when bitches don't mind. You pimp slap them and leave them in the street. Painful, yes. But what did I expect. Intelligence vs drive and luck. Who's going to win? I'd like to resort to the idea that maybe I'm just not that into this. Maybe I'm not cut our for management? BUt really, I'm just old and have a whole let tolerance for dumb ass bullshit. I'm proud to be back to real music again.