Thursday, February 9, 2012
There is something about this cold thing. It's freezing outside and yet it happens to have been one of the most beautiful days of my life. I've never seen actual water frozen over. I think I saw ice in the Schuylkill during my official Dundee Philly days. But nothing like people walking on ice and ice skating. So amazingly fresh. I want to go. I turned into a giddy school girl over that shit. I wanna go tomorrow but Lou says the ice sounded like it was cracking when he stepped on it and it freaked him out. That would be a dumb ass way to go. My family would be like....wtf was she doing walking on water and shit. Seriously? So I walked on it. And while it was exhillirating, it was still scary as fuck. I think this week I have been balls to the wall. More aggressive than ever in exhibiting my needs. And just as I thunk it...no one could hang. It's an amazing lump in my stomach. Not being understood. Having too much power and not enough. Having too much access and not enough anonymity....life it does crazy things indeed. Sometimes I don't know which way I'm going. I'm sure if I married some older jewish guy he could help guide me...but would I be truly happy. I don't know. Again...the more I know life and circumstances, the more I miss my dog, and that's just the truth.