Saturday, January 3, 2009

Sexism is Sooo September 10th

I am so over sexism.  Here I am, on a huge tour.  The biggest of my life in fact.  Clockin' dollars.  Paying off bills.  Feeling footloose and fancy free.  Working with my peers, blah blah blah.  And, can you believe it?  Niggas still hate.  And I mean hate.  It's one thing to try to turn a ho into a housewife, but an independent ambitious bitch?  Why would you do that?  Why would you make it a point to try to keep someone in their hypothetical "place".  I do not know why the caged bird sings.  I don't get down with cages.  Poles and handcuffs maybe, but not cages.

This is not going to be a blog about the power of women and other such boring tales.  This is, however, a blog about an independent woman married and committed to her career.  I'm a tour manager.  I manage big tours, big egos and looking to add big dick management to my resume. Pretty difficult task.  However, I'm not one to turn away from a challenge which, you will find, often gets me into trouble.

So I'm on this tour and I am amazed at how the idea of listening to a woman is like kryptonite to motherfuckers.  They will hold meetings in separate rooms, call my boss to ask HIM for shit he hired me for.  It's pretty funny.  Funnier is that they do it to all of the women in powerful positions on this tour.  So we've decided to all stand together in the hallways and look like we're co-mingling.  You know how Pigs act when there's a group of black people on a corner? They want them to disperse or they start whipping out billy clubs and shit?  That's what we do to the boys.  Generally we're just standing there talking shit about people talking shit.  And instantly, coded dialogue starts on the radio.  Ah bien....such is life.

In the meantime, I have to find some tour penis.
Tour is like camp.  Or as my friend says, 'working at a restaurant'.  I was watching "Grey's Anatomy" at my aunts house.  She asked, "must they only sleep with people in that hospital?"  And I was like, yeah.  I get it.  You are with the same people all day every day.  What else are you going to do?  So now I'm in search.  Ya know something?  There's something about a man in his twenties that make a chick in her thirties feel awfully hot.  Don't get me wrong, it's not as if I don't know I'm hot...I know.  I'm just saying....potential young boy Peen eye  is like an instant fountain of youth or something.  Not that they're any good or anything, or maybe they are?  Maybe one will be.  But they have such vigor, their ambition is astonishing.  And Ambition, is what this goodtime girl is most attracted to.  The not knowing is what makes this lifestyle so intoxicating.


  1. I am buying you the biggest black Dildo. SO....when the proverbial dick contest comes out then you will be a sure winner. I am sorry girl when need spa day.